Break or Burn Out?
I think it’s time to classify my “break” as what it really was, BURN OUT. It’s okay I’m not afraid of the concept anymore. Although it may not seem like it’s been that long, I haven’t written anything new since my last release at the beginning of June. That is a total of 55 days of nothingness. It’s weird how not doing something you love effects you. At first I played it all off as a well deserved break, but after a while I was starting to wonder if something was really wrong. There were days I would sit and think, “Why should I bother? It was so hard. I don’t need to write anymore.” and then guilt would set in. I felt bad for denying myself something I loved and I felt guilt for allowing something I loved to interfere with other responsibilities. It’s kind of a crazy place to be.
But enough is enough! After a month of really relaxing I found I was expressing my creativity in other ways. I started DIY projects around my house I kept putting off, I painted a door in my house with rainbow colors, I cook all the things and I read so many books. It was nice but I still felt as if something was missing.
Social media was another part that was painful. So many of my friends and contacts continued to write and release books and I was sad and almost jealous. It was like I didn’t fit into that world anymore because I wasn’t pushing out something new. I like to be good at what I do and social media drops you like a fly if you aren’t out there regularly. I couldn’t maintain it so I stepped back. It was in that moment that I realized all the things surrounding my writing was what was keeping me from actually writing. Once the outside influences and voices in my head quieted I heard from my characters. The same characters that only a month before had been begging for their story to be told.
Last night I wrote 5,376 words. Are they good? Only time will tell. Do I like them? Yep! It was so exciting watching the story unfold in front of my eyes. I watched as a simple second chance love story turned into a spicy reverse harem in only a matter of a few chapters. Reading back through it all this morning reminded me of why I write. I love being creative. I’m not a painter, a singer or a artist but I am a writer and I think it’s time that own up to that title.